UPDATE:
While she was engaging in these shameless acts (eg. calling my James while I was in labour, using her work email to contact my husband asking him to meet up with her to listen to her bad mouth her own husband, pestering James non-stop), she herself was pregnant in her first trimester carrying a baby boy.
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I do not believe in airing dirty laundry but the purpose of this post here is to voice out what a married woman with kid can do to another pregnant woman. Women support women – really?
I am not afraid of voicing out what I have gone through and I hope that this inspires people to voice out how they really feel, perhaps, not to the public, but to someone close to them. Speaking out helps relieve mental stress.
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People have been asking me, “Why are you so skinny now?” and “What about that homewrecker? What is the whole story?”. I think it’s time I spoke up.
Disclaimer: My weight loss has nothing to do with this incident. All the credit for getting back in shape this quickly goes to my breastfeeding journey.
I’ll be honest, life hasn’t been easy juggling with a newborn and managing my roller-coaster emotions. Let’s just say that I am lucky that depression hasn’t hit me (yet). I like to think that I am a strong-minded person and depression just isn’t my cup of tea, but then again… who knows, maybe I really am suffering from post-natal depression.
Now… where do I even begin?
I want to remember this rough patch for life so here I am, back on my blog with a personal post. I need an outlet to vent. I yearn for someone to hear me out and I know that a lot of my followers on IG are following the bits and pieces of the homewrecker story closely because I get a huge spike in my IG stories views whenever I hinted something about her. Even till today, I still get DMs from them requesting for more updates, for photos of the homewrecker and more. A bunch of you also keep bugging me on this blogpost.
Look at this innocent newborn… someone wanted to make him fatherless.. My heart ached for quite a while, not for myself for having to go through 10 months of pregnancy, 20 hours of labour or 6 weeks of recovery but for him. An ex-staff of James is out there, asking him to leave this baby for her. What if he grow up without a proper family? I have also come to terms that if he have to, he will, I can, and I will do my best for him.
Here is what exactly happened..
Shortly after I gave birth (while I was still undergoing confinement), I found out that James’ ex-staff (let’s just call her C here) asked James to divorce me so that he can be with her. Keep in mind that at the time of her ridiculous proposition to James, I was in my third trimester. She said this to him knowing that I was 1.5 months away from labour and she obviously wanted my baby to be FATHERLESS.
The gist is, there is absolutely something fundamentally wrong with C.
2 years ago
I warned C when she kept pestering James for her food cravings, incessantly checking on the installation of our house’s water dispenser filter and trying to insert herself into our lives in whatever minute way you can think of. I knew that she was an EXTREMELY needy person because my cousin who interned at the same company as her told me about her needy character.
James told me to ignore her as well, but then there were the times where James was waiting around for me to end work/an event, and she would “accompany” him to wait for me. I thought that a mom would usually rush home to look after her daughter and family after work? She certainly looked free.. Free enough to accompany and pester another married man.
When James needed a Tupperware for our house, she would appear with a brand new Tupperware the next day. The level of seducing or sucking up to her boss was certainly beyond………… Of course, I threw it away. Including the little Star Wars toys that she bought for his car and our house warming..
There was an incident where James had a team bonding outing with his colleagues and he got semi-drunk. While this was happening, I was just nearby attending my own team bonding outing. The sweet thing about James is, he enjoys going home together so it was always I wait for him or he wait for me to end kind of thing. My side ended earlier so I went over to wait for James to drive both of us home. His wallet and keys were right beside me, between us, on the sofa. When the waitress came in with the bill, instead of asking me for James’ card, she reached out for his wallet automatically as if it was the only right thing for her to do – taking her boss’ wallet like it belonged to her or her husband. I regretted not snatching it back even though I was extremely unhappy. Who was she to open my husband’s wallet when his lawfully wedded wife (i.e. me) was sitting right next to the wallet? I lost all respect for her after this incident since she had none for me either.
I was upset but I knew her character well (she is known to be the needy type), so I chose to let the incident slide thinking that maybe this is just in character for her. Maybe she does this to every other guy in the office. I tried so hard to give her the benefit of the doubt, but every time I look the other way, she just escalates her behaviour.
There were also other times where she went out drinking with other people, probably got high and decided that it is appropriate to call James for fun. For??????????????????? Why are you harassing a married guy? Why is this married woman with a kid pestering my husband????? Why is she always asking him out to join her group of girlfriends??????
Whenever she drops James a reminder on something, be it work related or not, she would go “What will you do without me right? :P”. I even have screenshots of these. Hello, my husband did not work to wherever he is, just because you are in his life. You should keep your flirting texts and your pants to your husband.
I think C over estimated her position.
The devil in me came out on one night when she dropped James a text while I was sitting beside him at 1am. Holy 1am.
“I can’t take it when you give me cold shoulders”
She sent this WhatsApp message to him at 1am. Who even sends this kind of message at 1am?
I was angry and hurt. To think that other woman (a married woman to make things worse) was out there losing sleep because of my husband?? What was she even trying to achieve? It was like she was having a monologue with herself because James could not be bothered to reply. WTFFF? I went into a rage. What exactly does she want from her boss?
Mind you, she is “happily” married with a daughter.
I confronted her via WhatsApp and she assured me that this was a misunderstanding. Do you think I would buy that? Of course not. What did I do next? Nothing. All I wanted was to let her know that I know what she was doing behind my back – trying her luck with my husband. I was so tempted to warn her husband about this and till this day, I regret not warning him earlier.
She left James’ company on Oct 2019, and I thought that was the last time I would have to tolerate her antics but she kept updating James on her job. Have to travel to Thailand for training….. her pay… her life…… no more feelings for her husband… For?
Fast forward to my pregnancy
In August 2020, after I found out that I was pregnant, she called James to help her with a referral letter for a job interview (Yes, barely half a year into the previous job, she wanted a change of environment again). I did not think too much of it despite the things she did in the past. To be honest, I’ve never seen myself as a petty wife. Neither am I the kind of wife who would interfere with my husband’s job or try to control who he hangs out with because I am independent as fuck and I trust my husband. But little did I know that that woman was back full strength this time around, to pester James.
The referral letter was a façade she used as an excuse to start texting James frequently again.. She kept asking him personal things like where he was or if they can meet up – she will drive over to meet him, at his office building during his lunch hours (not her lunch hours, but I guess that is one of the perks for doing a sales job) or places where James would be meeting me.
To James, he met up with her to catch up with an old colleague and friend. But I can’t say that she had the same intentions as James right from the start. To her, this was the start of her scheme to make James her backup plan (I will explain this part later). Her behavior bordered on being a full-blown stalker, she would do concerning things like drive over to look for James whenever she gets a text reply from him or attempt to love-bomb him with little gifts while pursuing him. Sadly for her, her unwanted gifts would always end up in the rubbish bin after they part (I did not throw them away this time around. James did).
She would over share uncomfortable personal information with James during their catch-up, even private things like how sexually active she is with her husband, not sleeping around during her flying days or how her dad may be having an affair with another women. This honestly just makes me question her motives, what are you trying to pull? Are you trying to fish for sympathy or justify that it’s okay for James to cheat with you because cheating is so common that even your dad does it?
If she is fishing for sympathy, I don’t how she can be so blind to her own hypocrisy. If your dad having an affair is so painful that you can use it as a “pity me” card, then how can you knowingly try to inflict this pain on me too?
She was doing this behind my back despite knowing that I was pregnant. Even her close friend asked her if she knew that I was pregnant.
The truth is how can she not know? She was busy stalking my IG stories when James was ignoring her – from my maternity shoots to staycations. Probably trying to find out why was her messages to him were not answered. She even quarreled with James for him not replying her.
“Why did you ghost me?”
“Why are you ignoring me?”
If I were to put it crudely, she offered her body to James, not once, but multiple times at hospital carparks. She KNEW I was pregnant, but she still continued. I was absolutely disgusted. She is a mom herself; how can she do this to another pregnant woman? Even crazy enough to the extent of asking James to divorce me for her because she was going crazy with her husband? Can I just say that I ought to be thankful that my husband was not dumb enough to fall for her trap? Divorce me? Lol. If she can win James over, sure! Be my guest. I have no interest to keep someone whom I can lose so easily by my side because I am not as needy as her. Life goes on even if I have to raise my kid alone.
I also found out about the conversations that she had with James and I do not understand how can someone badmouth their own husband to this extent? Not just once, but multiple times! She also kept stressing that she would have divorced her husband if not for the fact that they have a daughter. Probably trying to drop James some hints here. I will not disclose any information shared about her husband out of respect.
I felt extremely disgusted as I read through the conversations. I think her mind and heart were filled with James. Probably TOO OBSESSED with him. Always confessing to him, telling how much she misses him and the most unforgettable sentence that I saw was “wish you were here instead of my husband” when she was on a staycation/trip with her husband and daughter.
Luckily, her husband found out about everything before things could get more serious. I guess her husband suspected something was wrong when he discovered the text messages she was sending via her WhatsApp web tab on her laptop when she was out. She is such a capable Pharma sales rep that she can juggle meeting doctors and doing her sales job while spamming unwanted text messages and chasing after married men – including wanting to meet up again and again during working hours.
I like to think that her husband is a nice guy, he didn’t want to implicate me in this situation, so he did not reach out to me. Maybe it was because he felt that there was no need to expose a pregnant lady to such drama. After all, ignorance is bliss, the less you know the happier you are.
However, there’s always two sides to a coin, could it be that he was trying to protect his wife because he is still in love with her? Maybe he did not want to put her at risk since I could expose her at any time on my Instagram? I don’t know, but I chose to believe in the nicer side of him. He has been very nice so far.
I reached out to him instead during my confinement, after finding out that she was crazy enough to ask James to divorce me when I was so close to labour. He knew about the things she did. I asked him if he knew about how she asked James to leave me when I was close to labour. He did not know. He apologized for it on her behalf and said “that period was crazy, you know maybe she needed a back up plan” but I personally felt that he was a victim since his wife seems ready to divorce him for James.
I was mind blown. How can someone, how can a married woman, be this crazy over a married guy? Why does it have to be my husband? Why does she want to break up my family when I have an unborn child in my tummy? For a woman as vicious as her, even sending her to hell as punishment would be letting her off too easily.
She did not stop harassing James even after her husband confronted her. She was asked to block James everywhere, from her social media to her messaging apps. However, as soon as she is out of her husband’s sights, she would unblock James and call/text him to meet. Do you know what’s worse? She had the cheeks to call James when I was in labour (in the hospital) and went “your baby is coming out any time hor…?”
She also loves updating James on their current status.
“Oh we went for marriage counselling”..
“Things look like it is improving but it is not”..
“I don’t know”.. “Not sure about the feelings”..
“Wah, the marriage counselling is expensive”
“Can talk? I cannot find anyone to talk”
I was pissed, knowing that James was still willing to provide a listening ear despite her ridiculous and indecent acts.
After labour
She could not reach James on all the messaging apps so she dropped him an email via her work email. Isn’t this the best way of showing “when there is a will, there’s a way”?
At this point, even her own husband couldn’t trust her anymore. He turned on the GPS on her phone to try curbing her cheating, so she attempted to plan her cheating routes carefully. By cheating routes, yes, she still wanted to meet James. The email was disgusting. She roleplayed the entire scenario. The email was supposedly meant for a doctor (but the actual recipient was James) and in the email, she was a sales rep trying to fix a meeting with James to sell him some drugs. The email certainly does not look like an affair or anything but…. is James a doctor that she was covering? How fishy. She used her work email because her husband probably did not expect her to cheat again/ or cheat using her work email.
I called her to confront her but all she had to say for herself was “Oh… we very long never talk already.. I was just overly friendly”.
Biatch. Offering herself to my husband is just her being overly friendly? If “offering” is just being friendly than what counts as crossing the line to her? Car sex in her car like what she wanted? WOW.
Of course, I revealed everything to her husband too. Her husband still forgave her. Good for her I guess. Maybe he is a saint. I, for sure, would not be able to put up with the fact that my wife attempted to cheat on me and chased after another guy this hard. He probably did it out of love – her love for their daughter and I salute that. That is a level of humiliation I would never be able to put up with but I respect him 200% for this.
I don’t deny that I went crazy after this incident and life has never been the same since then. You may think that my family is still perfectly happy but there are just so many things that I can’t put into words. I was hurt, I was hurt so badly even when James was not dumb enough to fall into her trap. I was extremely angry that he replied to C in such a cordial manner even though she asked him to leave me for her. I know that guys do not usually care much about these things but deep down, I wanted him to tell her off as a form of respect for me. She pestered him all the way back when she was still in the same company, and when I was pregnant, and up till my baby was born!
Imagine how I felt when I found out? Every last single interaction she had with my husband, and all the possible worst-case scenarios played on loop in my mind. I was vulnerable and still recovering from childbirth. I could barely even sit properly.. Could I share all these thoughts and emotions with another person at that point in time? No, I could not. What if I got everything wrong?
What did I do during that period? I pretended to be happy on social media but I was slowly dying on the inside. Every day was a torture. It was living hell. Why do I have to go through all these right after giving birth?
I grew up in a happy family. You fall in love, get married, start a family, and grow old together. However, my view of marriage has not changed even after what she did. She can continue to openly make comments like how CHEATING IS VERY COMMON to people around her. But she won’t change my beliefs.
We are both women, but look at how different our values and morale are 🙂
I am very thankful of my supportive parents during the tough period. I am not saying that things are easier now but at least, I know that they are right behind me. My parents and James were beside me when I confronted her over the phone call. My in-laws were saying that we showed too much happy moments online, making her envy and jealous at the same time since she was extremely unhappy with her own marriage. But it really takes someone’s mental state to be this special to do whatever she had done, especially involving an unborn child.
We live in a different generation from our parents and grandparents, maybe extra-marital affairs and divorces are just more common now. Who am I to judge?
But for now, I hope that I will find peace soon.
To all the women who are facing the same issue, or if your family was wrecked by another lady, know your worth. You deserve nothing but the best. God has his plans and his reasons. Sometimes we are supposed to go through things so that we learn lessons.
“Do to others whatever you would like them to do to you. This is the essence of all that is taught in the law and the prophets.” –Matthew 7:12
