I looked at my past entries for 2009 and saw alot of entries with your name on how we used to meet up almost every 2 weeks, or when we are really busy, we would meet up at least once a month.
During CNY 2009, we went to Coffee’s place together, and headed to your place for some small gambling and me flipping through your stuffs like I had always did. We would always meet up after my work at town for late night shopping or chilling out. Most of the times, it was just the 2 of us alone and nevertheless, it was fun. When YQ and me got together, you were the first to know it. Why? Because I always feel that you’re my best friend. I clearly remember telling you that how much you stand as a friend, that you and YQ are both equal to me. Likewise, when I first got my driving license, you were my first friend passenger, I remembered I tried waking you and coffee up for breakfast but I failed, so I tried again next week and after IMM, I went to your place to chill and again, I flipped through your birthday presents and we packed them together. If you remember, we also swam with Wendy in the past, that was all our first time. I cried when you told me you are planning to leave for Aust to study. I talked to you, tried to make you stay.
Suddenly, towards the end of 2009, we decided to go on a trip together to BKK, a quite last minute plan. It was our first time travelling together, walking down night markets and haggling the prices of the stuffs in BKK. Breakfast at level 43, taking tuktuk, walking long distance to platinum, crazy shopping everywhere, making full use of every minute and everything was well.
Things started to change just after we came back. You read my blog and accused me that I maligned you. But when I blogged about me being sick, have you ever cared? No. Maybe not that you don’t care but because you don’t read my blog, someone asked you if you saw the entry that she thought was related to you so immediately, you responded to it. But when I posted in my facebook that I visited the doctor, you never bothered to ask why. Just look at my FB, you never appeared anything there before but on the other hand, you look very free to like or comment on Yvonne’s, Yikqi’s and any of your other friends. Friends who are sick or unwell if stated in their pm, would mostly receive a care of concen text by you. Me? Always none. We discussed about another BKK trip with the guys, yvonne and yikqi but the moment when they said that they are not going, your response was that you dont want to go already. So what is the meaning of this?
Kevindren and me. Both birthday on the same day. You called him to wish him, but mine was a sms. I still have that sms in my phone. It is quite obvious that things had already changed but you assured me that the friendship hasn’t. What am I suppose to believe in? Words or actions? I am still in very close contact with Coffee and would meet up when free. You? Don’t talk about meet ups, even in msn, you don’t seem to be interested in talking to me. It is not a problem of lack of communication. It is a problem of the differences in us. All of you are working, are adults. Me? I am only a school girl, a playful and full of nonsense childish girl in your eyes. Please do not try to say no, it’s not true. This is what I am receving. Don’t lie to others with your words because it clearly showed me that this friendship has certainly changed.
10 years soon to be, 10 years always close together even when we kind of lost contact with others for quite some time like Yvonne, Yikqi, Wendy or the rest. We were always close together. Sadly, Things have to turn out this way. Maybe you don’t feel anything anymore, but I spent a very long time writing this long email is to show that I care. I care about the friendship we have, I care about how things will turn out to be for us and I hate to lose a good friend like it. But if I really have to let this go, I would. Because it certainly don’t feel good to be feeling sad alone when you don’t feel the same way as me. Instead of thinking so much and making myself feel bad but keeping quiet I would choose to let go. You would most probably feel nothing and lead your usual happening life, as for me, I will slowly grow out of it and soon we will be leading our own lives without each other in the future. 🙂
